One: The Nightmare Begins

All was dark. Quiet. The typical opening in a typical Rayman darkfic. Yeah.

Then suddenly, in an obvious Invader Zim ripoff, a certain blonde superhero jumps through the window in a flurry of leaves and past-to-present-tense-change. "They're coming!"

Tily the Unappreciated Fairy put down her sketchbook and gave Rayman her trademark Sickly Smile™ that once inflicted on you fulfilled your daily sugar intake. "Who's coming RayRay?" She said, with a look that said "Disturb my drawing again and you die."

Now, for a true IZ ripoff to take place, Rayman would've said "I don't know" in a spooky accent. But because he was original, unlike the author, he didn't. Instead, he said..

"THE STUPID SEXY VAMPIRES!"

And with that, he screamed.

Tily screamed.

Ly screamed.

Globox screamed.

Murfy screamed.

Dib screamed, and he isn't even in this story.

Somewhere in France, a guy named Michel screamed, and hid behind his illegitimate son Jhonen.

Because the STUPID SEXY VAMPIRES were just THAT BAD. That they were. :D

O0O0O0O0O0

"Onward, Christian soldiers!" yelled Edward Cullen.

Jacob the Hippie Werewolf (who may or may not be cheating on Alice with Remus Lupin) groaned. "I'm a Buuuddhist!" he yelled, pronouncing it like they do on CSI. "I'm a frigging Buuuuddhist!"

Edward facepalmed, and winced as glitter cascaded from the impact into his eye. "DAMMIT!" he yelled.

Alice whimpered. "Like OMG you just SWORE. Perfect boyfriends don't do that."

"Oh I don't mind." chirped Bella. "I mean totally omg he totally loves me so I don't mind what he does." With that she kissed him, which turned into a makeout session to be afraid of.

"OMG YUCK" said Jacob, who was so awsme! he could talk without punctuation.


O0O0O0O0O0

In total idiotic fashion, Rayman had decided to hold a meeting with all his mates to decide what to do about...you know what.

"So! Guys! Any ideas?" He asked.

"We could kill one of them."

"Only one?"

"Well it can't be too depressing.

"But what would happen to the other?"

"They'd get depressed."

"And maybe suicide?"

"No way, that's been done before. Romeo And Juliet anyone?"

"Dude, that book was written on a different planet. You're not supposed to have heard of it."

"Right."

"Well, we could slowly but surely wean them into a love thing, but try not to make it the general suicide-cus-his-mission-failed-take-them-both-to-Irk thing everybody does. We need originality."

Everybody looked at LacMac with the intensity of something really really really frigging intense.

The young adult curled up in his chair and nervously stared back at them with the sort of expression a rabbit would have upon being caught in the headlights of a disturbingly pink and glittery tank.

There was an awkward silence. Even the crickets had stopped chirping and were staring at him.

"Dude," said Ly, after what felt like a million years and probably was on some distant planet, "How would that help with the imminent SSV invasion?"

"Sadistically Sane Vanilla?" asked Murfy.

"No. STUPID SEXY VAMPIRES."

Everyone screamed, and then pretended that the past ten seconds hadn't happened.

"Invasion?" Now it was LacMac's turn to look confused. "So we're not talking about that group ZaDr story we were writing?"

Another awkwardly awkward silence.

"What group ZaDr story?" Asked Rayman.

Ly scratched her head. "We're writing a group ZaDr story?"

"Well, eh, last time LacMac checked we were."

Murfy sighed.

"No, that was LAST week. Polokus, kid, keep up."

"Eh, okay."

Here Murfy facepalmed, and thankfully did not get glitter in his eye because he is not a STUPID SEXY VAMPIRE...or IS he? Hmm. PLOTPOINT!

No wait that sucks. Ah well.